Saturday, September 29, 2007


Last night the husband and I were in bed by 2130. We rolled to face each other and at the same time using a Beevis & Butthead voice we said to each other "Heh-he we're old."

Thursday, September 27, 2007


Well the little man is 9 weeks old today. His well baby appointment is next week on the 1st. I'm sure I'm going to cry when they give him his first shots. I'm not looking forward to that, but I know that the shots are needed. I just don't want the little man to get poked by a needle. I'm sure it will be what others say, that it's worse on the parent than on the child.

Here are some photos of the little man. He's getting so big. He's in some 3-6 months clothing already, he's going to be long and lean like his daddy! He's got the longest legs and torso. He smiles so much now and grabs at my hands or arm while feeding him. He turns his head towards you now when you come up to him and start talking. Oh and its been a week but I can officially say he sleeps through the night. Don't worry I have been keeping good track this week to make sure he's eating enough during the day to handle not waking in the night. He does! His current weight is around 11 lbs. The doc's recommend they eat 2-3oz per lbs so for him 22-33 oz in a day. He eats around 25-30oz. So I know the little man is getting plenty.

Well enjoy the photos!

This is his serious face.

I'm just joshing mom!

Oh did you say bottle time?

Cute booties I got him for winter time since he kicks his socks off!

Little Buddha laughing!


Okay I am going over this ONCE, beyond that if you aren't able to understand then I guess that is your issue.

For a group of people who read every detail of my blog you aren't very astute. In fact you are pretty damn obtuse. As it says clearly in my "about me" section this is where I vent the slings and arrows of life. Journaling whether its private or a public venue like this is one of the simplest and most commonly used tools in psychology. It is a healthy form of releasing the negativity in a person's life. So if this blog is where I vent, then it is pretty much common sense that it probably WON'T contain only stories of puppies, rainbows and kittens. It is healthy, yes folks healthy for a person to journal frustrations on paper or virtual paper and then let go. It is unhealthy to hold onto those feelings, become overwhelmed and head down a path into destructive behaviors. THIS IS WHERE I RELEASE AND LET GO.

So get over it, just get over it. I'm not unhappy, I enjoy life and most of the people in it. I don't blame others, I often wonder about the common sense of others but don't blame them for my frustrations. But since you seem to think I do then from now on everything is Beth's fault. Easy fix, anything that goes wrong is because of Beth.

You can make any assumptions you want about my husband's job, his pay, my job, my pay - whatever. I don't give 100% of the details, I never have because I blog with a pseudo name. Let me assure you though that from before we were married (9 married) 12 years ago that we have always budgeted and lived off of his salary alone. We don't live outside our means, we don't overextend ourselves - we are too anal retentive to do that. So please rip me some more on the assumption that we don't know how to budget or can't live within our means. Just remember your assumption pretty much only makes an ass out of you since there's no 'me' in that word.

How or why a job offer came to me and why I accepted the job well its not public knowledge, that's a portion I didn't disclose. Would I have been happier had the offer come later say January - uh YEAH! Of course it would have been, but its not when it happened and its not how it played out. I'm working with what life presented me and attempting to make the best of that situation.

And as for the deployment and how evil I am for taking a job before he leaves, the bonding time etc. Lets use logic people is the husband home during the day? No he's not, he's not home during the day and can't bond with his son during the day because he's at work. Nights and weekends are the only times he's able to be with his son and he spends that time with Oz glued to his hip as he carries him around. So me taking a job during the day where the husband isn't home to bond with his son or us to bond as a family is just silly. We spend our time at night during the week with the 3 of us with about 30 minutes of TV to watch the news and then the rest is all Oz's time. The weekends include vacuuming, cleaning the toilets and kitchen and the rest is Oz' time. So sorry Beth but what's your point about taking a job before deployment? It has no effect on the situation.

So let me reiterate one more time that I vent on this blog. I write the negative out on virtual paper in order to let go of it. It is a constructive behavior, basic psych 101 so get over thinking that I am unhappy.

We live within our means, know how to budget and have always budgeted off of 1 salary since before we were married.

Bonding time with the family still happens people but while the husband is working he's not bonding with the baby now is he?

Now back to our regularly scheduled blogging.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Close to home

I did find care and I am really happy. Its an in home provider. I like the way the interview was structured, the number of children she has, the location etc. She basically made me feel comfortable and I'm going with my gut. I interviewed over the phone and in person several other people over the last few days and NO ONE made me feel as at ease at who we chose.

I am 2 minutes from her home and will go and have my lunch there every day. Its a good place and I am really happy that God, karma or kissmit smiled on our family for placing this person in our path.

So since the anons seem to want to comment no matter what - here's my question to you: So the single mom, the single parent what do you expect them to do? Become homeless? Crap the army only allows 6 weeks, yes 6 weeks which is even less than FMLA's 12 weeks. What are these single parents supposed to do?

BTW - Oz is 9 weeks tomorrow! Yeah to my little boy!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Wait lists suck

So of course I am waitlisted for the CDC. I figured so much after talking to my friend yesterday. The "projected" wait is 2-4 months. Of course its not like any joesmoe is before me its single soldiers, dual military and single parent civilians. I understand that and won't complain about who's ahead but it does suck.

Also the second faclity I was recommended because someone worked there the last time they were stationed here and its the same owner and director has a waitlist of 29 people! So not looking good but of course I name dropped the lady that worked there in the hopes that it may squeeze me up the list a bit. (Yes I am shameless).

I've got two ladies to call for in home care. They are ladies from my coffee group and a church member. I'm on the fence because they don't have a license. One is in the process of getting a license though and "should" have her license within the next month or two.

I'm a little leary of FCC the in home version of the CDC since I sat there this morning in their office listening to a situation where the FCC provider's home (on post provider) was filthy, there was poison in the backyard because of a dog dispute and someone was trying to kill off a dog - basically a total mess. The second evil story I have of FCC providers was my friend in Germany who's provider was shut down because the husband was charged with molesting children. It apparently wasn't children in her care but he was charged and all the kids were questioned and immediately removed from the home.

So things are looking a little "eh" at the moment. I will find someone for the short term until either the CDC or the Wee Kids folks have space for my little man. I'm thinking I really do want to stick to a larger facility even if its a little institutional-ish, meaning not one on one care. At least I know the owners of one personally and the other is totally regulated by the Army and has to much visibility to screw up and not get beat up for it!

Sunday, September 23, 2007


I'm done freaking out about my son's developmental conditions. I'm sure he's fine and he's actually doing some things differently now. I just had one of those first time mommy panic things, but since I'm a first time mommy you'll let that slide.

I am a little freaked out about something else now. On Friday I was offered a job. Its in my field, in the office I wanted to work in, back in federal service and a salary that is very nice. They tentatively offered and I tentatively accepted. I'm just a little freaked over putting an 8 week old in child care.

Honestly I'm hoping the child care places are a little full so I can't start work until November 1st. I am going to ask for it too from my new employer if she can accommodate me starting a month from now. I want Oz to be a little older before going into day care. Actually I was hoping that job offers would have come ohh about the 6 month mark.

Its definitely a crisis of conscious. I want the job, but I want to make sure my little boy is treated well, taken care of and doesn't get left to cry all day or anything. I've already put out leads to a group of women that came from Leavenworth and a coffee group. I like the safety of a CDC that's large, well watched and I can get to in 5 minutes if I need to. But I don't like that they may or may not be able to accommodate his reflux and sometimes he's still a little shy on pooping on his own which could be an issue as well.

Hopefully I can find the child care place that makes me feel comfortable and okay with leaving my son there for such a long time. I'd always been one of those "I will go back to work" chicks and I want to, but I want to do it when he's 6 months or so. Funny how those things change when you swore it never would.

ETA - I spent about an hour talking to a friend who has left their child in the places I am looking at, as well as working there at one point in time. I feel much more comfortable with the situation now. I know that Oz will be cared for, properly cared for that is and won't be left to cry all day because he's a hungry little man who eats every two hours.

So keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer if you pray that there's space available at the CDC. At least on post, I can visit at lunch every day with the little man and be close to the medical clinic should he need treatment.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Random thoughts

I know some of ya'll think I'm nuts or just overly paranoid and I hope I am. I'd rather be that crazy mommy. I guess I just worry so much because Oz is it. He's our only child pretty much and I just want him to have the best life possible. So I worry when I notice things like -

He doesn't seem to be comforted when I pick him up. I remember other babies stopping crying when mom or dad picked them up. Maybe they were older and had that realization that mom and dad are safe. Oz just seems to cry just as hard whether I'm holding him or not.

When he doesn't look at me, I will attempt to move into his field of vision. Many times he will then look somewhere else. If I keep moving into his field of vision especially if he's feeding he will just close his eyes.

Sometimes when he's upset he doesn't just wave his arms about but flaps his hands for some reason.

He doesn't like to be in a carrier anymore either, yet he doesn't want to be put down either.

He a violent sleeper. For the last two nights I've had him swaddled but if I don't he thrashes about. He's quite violent when he sleeps, waving his arms, kicking, turning his head back and forth.

He no longer likes to sleep on his tummy on your chest. He thrashes he head back and forth until you move him into another position.

He seems to dream a lot and more of it is unhappy things than happy. He still smiles in his sleep but he also cries out, makes pained faces and it appears like he's having a bad dream or something.

So these are the things besides what I've mentioned before that just concern me. It could be that he's just fine and I'm paranoid. I really want to be just paranoid. I just have some voice in the back of my head asking me if things are right or not.

On a good note

I don't want to jinx things but swaddling does seem to show promise as to allowing Oz to sleep better at night as well as allowing mommy to sleep better too. After a week of using it, I will let you know how it turned out. It seems as soon as I mention that something works it stops working so I'm waiting this out to see how it goes.

What's really humorous is how does a swaddled baby still manage to move 8 inches in one direction in his crib? And should I be worried that he'd rather be swaddled than not? Meaning I think he'd like to be wrapped like a buritto all day long than be able to flail about like an 8 week old.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I don't want to be a grownup anymore

Hmmm lets see....

A tree crashes down in our yard due to carpenter ants. Two other trees have to be taken down to the tune of $1050.

The first killer heatwave since 1990 hits the Nashville area and our grass is now dead. Reseeding will take place to the tune of $360 + $61 for a chemical weed treatment.

Part of the closet shelving came down because some moron who put it up didn't put the screws into the studs but just put them straight into the sheetrock. (No mollybolts either) Not sure how much it will cost.

Jake the snake comes visiting and is killed for $149. Plus advised of a mice problem.

Sitting on the downstairs toilet this morning, I lean back to balance the sleeping baby and my ability to um wipe and I hear water run. I bend in the same direction again and hear more water. Waiting on the plmber to call us. At least we have a warranty for this but still its $55 for the service call.

Not to mention my son is back to eating every 2 hours now since we had to back down on how much food we give him per feeding.

Plus I saw Jenny McCarthy on Oprah and I am a little worried about Oz. I've always been a little worried about this but have kept it to myself. Oz doesn't stare at my face, he glances at me and stares off at other things like the TV, the window or a light. He really doesn't gaze into my face and if I start talking to him and am sitting to the side of him he doesn't look my direction either. He also doesn't grab his toys at all, he will follow them if I take them in his field of vision but doesn't grab them at all. So I am very nervous about the thought of and fear of autism. Just scares the crap out of me.

So no more being a grownup - I wanna go to Vegas and play craps for a week and come back to being a grownup later.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Best $149...

bucks I have spent in a long frickin' time.

The boy and I were going to the car in the garage to go find paint. We think we've found the paint supplier that provided the paint for our builder. I've been looking for matching paint for two months now!

While walking Oz to the car and getting ready to put him in the car I notice at the front of the garage near the door I see a snake coiled up. I quickly get Oz in the car and shut the door to make sure he's safe. I get in the driver's seat, open the garage door and started to back out. I had left my door open slightly in order to try and see what kind of snake it was. It was gone when I got to the door frame. I back out a safe distance and got out of the car. I got only as close as about 10 feet away and peered where I last saw it. It was slithering towards the house. It had diamonds on it and its head looked kinda triangler. I nearly peed my pants thinking that it was a baby rattler!

I called the DH and he told me to just call an exterminator. The guy came out and was asking me on the phone while he was coming over if I knew if it was still in there. I smartly told him there was no way in hell that I was going to go back in there with my 7 week old son and go snoping around for a frickin' snake.

This guy gets here, peaks around after I showed him where I last saw him. About 3 minutes later he's moving slowly away from a spot near the snow salt and grabs a giant glue trap. Then he spends the next 10 minutes slowly moving things around. What he's doing I don't know I'm 25 feet away behind my car in the drive peering over the corner of the trunk. Finally he picks up the glue trap and smiles at me. "Well it wasn't a rattler but you were right that it was poisionous. It was a baby copperhead. Man these are the most facinating snakes - see?" He's holding the glue trap in my direction and I nearly ralphed on him. I put my baby on the garage floor before I open the door to put him in his frickin' car seat thingie.

So after I swallowed the spit in my mouth from almost puking my guts out. He pointed out some issues. We have a mice problem. A little mouse ate a hole through the weather stripping on the garage door. The snake used that hole to come hide from the sun. So we need to treat the mice issue and there will be no food for the snake to come looking. We also need to fix the weather stripping.

I just nearly peed my pants at this but the $149 it cost for him to come instantly to my home, in his snake pants and a pair of extra heavy duty lacers to put that nasty little creature on a glue trap and take him far far a frickin' way was soo worth it!

Bang head here X

Yesterday talking to my mom, she said to go ahead and up Oz's bottle per feeding. I uppped it to what he seemed to be happy with which was 4.5oz. It worked like a charm yesterday and the first part of this morning. He was going down happily for naps, it seemed like it was the fix.

After the circus with the copperhead in my garage (see next entry), I noticed Oz was spitting up more and not sleeping well this afternoon. Well he actually refused the rest of his bottle this evening, threw up on my husband and has been cranky, crying ever since. So I guess upping his food wasn't the right thing to do and now he's got an upset tummy to deal with this evening and night. *SIGH*

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Sleeping is for the dog

I mentioned earlier that the little man decided day time naps were for the dog. Well come Wednesday it seemed like he ran out of steam and took pretty good naps Wednesday afternoon, Thursday and Friday. I was relieved thinking that this little game was over.

Well I was wrong. Friday night he decided to sleep his major leg like he normally does, but after his 2 am feeding, although he was a total limp armed man as soon as I put him down his eyes would pop open and he'd be awake. I tried putting him down anyways hoping with the yawning that he was sleepy and would drift off like he normally does - NOPE! It took 3 tries and an hour and a half to get him asleep. Of course he woke promptly 3 hours after his last feeding leaving me with maybe an hour sleep before his next feeding.

The same went on last night too. We even had the advantage of the glider that we bought and finally came in. I rocked that boy for 25 minutes in the glider before putting him down the first time. Its so totally unnerving to see those little eyes pop open like someone turned on a switch on a toy or something. I've decided that the eye popping open deal is like a cupie doll when you tilt them one way or another and the eyes pop open! Plus he decided that napping again for was for the dog.

I begged the hubby to take a nap today because I totally needed it. He's still to young really to let him fuss for 5 minutes or so before getting him in an effort to see if he will fall back to sleep on his own. But I will tell you I am frustrated, tired and crabby as hell. Not to mention feeling guilty because he smiles at you when you talk to him now and will smile and coo as you continue to talk to him and have one of his soft toys give him kisses.

I'm waiting on the white noise CD I ordered and I need to order a pull down blind for his room. Mainly to help keep the heat in at night. What I don't get on that is why the smallest room in the house has one of the largest windows. I've got Oz dressed in long sleeved/pant clothes with the socks he can't seem to kick off. He still manages to kick of his warmer blanket too and I find his little arms are a little cold.

He's also chowing down on bottles like there's no tomorrow! He's up to 4 oz now a bottle with no spitting up and eats them about 2 hours apart. I'm guessing a growth spurt here, but am also worried that he's eating for comfort instead. Of course if he makes the hunger signs I feed him. I won't not feed him because it hasn't been so many hours between feedings. But if he is feeding solely for comfort what am I missing? What I am not giving him? Or is the little fartknocker just growing on me?

He's a good boy and I love him to death. I wouldn't change having him in this world for nothing, but the lack of sleep is killing me. Since the hubby is setting up to deploy, he's working 12 hour days at work. This leaves me as Oz's primary and pretty much sole caregiver. I was just hoping that as he neared 8 weeks of age, his sleeping patterns would stabilize more. I knew with the reflux he might take longer than other babies to sleep through the night because he had to eat more often, he's not really even showing signs of a morning nap period unless you count the 20 minute power nap he might take on my lap if he feels like it. Afternoon naps are a little more predictable but not totally. And now the waking up and not going back down at night even with leaving every single frickin' light off I swear is going to make me pull a Britney and shave my head.

Some books state that if he was born before his due date that when you count the "calming down" period you count 6 weeks after his due date and not just 6 weeks of life. If that's the case then the end of this week he will be 6 weeks after his due date. I really wish I could rely on the hubby more but with his work the way it is, I can't. Its pretty much me with an occasional him to help over the weekend like allowing me to get in a nap. I'm getting desperate enough that I started inquiring if his parents could come earlier rather than later this year. Uh, yeah you read that right I'd like to see if they would lend a hand a little so I can take a nap during the day - holy crap I am desperate.

Don't even ask me to tell you about how dirty I think our home is. I keep a clean house and we just can't get done the cleaning I am used to. But you can't clean the toilet with a kid in a snugli, especially when he's decided he doesn't like to be in one anymore and is squirming and squawking at you.

Ugh, I needed to let that out. Patience, I know it just takes patience and time and the little man will work out his own battle rhythm. I know that the smiles and interactive laughs and such are my reward for being patient, it doesn't mean though that the lack of sleep still doesn't suck.

As a few folks have mentioned - this too shall pass.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

My fears superimposed

...upon my child. I've read through the Happiest Baby on the Block and today I used one of the elements to calm Oz from screaming at me - the Shhhhhhhhh white noise deal. It worked in a second flat. I will search the net later for a white noise CD to play in his room.

What I can't get past is the swaddling part. I know what the issue is, I can't stand to be pinned down, my arms being held down or me feeling trapped. Because I dated a real ass in college, those things just give me a panic attack. So I don't really want to swaddle Oz. He still does the arm wave we think looks like he's going downhill on a roller coaster, and I know the swaddling would help to keep that from happening and him waking himself. I just can't seem to get past my fears of being trapped and that he must feel the same way I do.

Any suggestions on where I can get a white noise CD?

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Any suggestions?

Since sunday the boy has decided that sleeping during the day is for the dog. He will sleep for maybe 20 minutes at most and usually only if sleeping on me. I've tried time and time again to transfer him to his crib or his bouncey seat only to have him wake 5 minutes later (apparently after figuring out he's not on me anymore) and then won't go back to sleep. He's sleeping so-so at night but I usually have to sooth him and put him down 3-4 times before he goes back to sleep after a late night feeding.

After 4 days of about 8-9 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period he's got to be cranky and exhausted. He's 7 weeks but I'm still not comfortable at letting him "cry it out" at this age yet. I also can't go back to me not eating, sleeping or peeing because he has to be touching me 24/7/365. The books I've read and own don't seem to have an answer for this one. Not sure how or what may be the best way to help him establish a better sleeping pattern durning the day.


Books I own: Babywise, Happiest Baby on the Block and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


Although the American support for troops being in Iraq are fading, please remember those that lost their lives from Sept 11th 2001 to today due to terrorists. Americans, Spanish and English, all of them have suffered from terroristic activities yet still thrive, live and defy what the terrorists want which is cower in fear in our homes.

We will drive on, we will move forward but we shall not forget.


Happy news! It looks like Oz may have graduated on the feeding front. With the reflux we've had to back off how much per feeding to give him in order to not overfill his tummy causing a backflow up into his windpipe.

For the last two days he's been wanting to eat once an hour or 1 1/2 hours. He was downing an entire 3 oz bottle each time. Needless to say I was a fright to look at and smell since I didn't shower the last two days - oye! So I tried upping his bottles to 3.5 oz. He seems to be stomaching it well, no fits regarding a tummy ache which is good, very good.

The poop issue though is nuts, but better. Yesterday I had to aide the boy in pooping with the thermometer trick. I may have found the right mix for him of apple juice and water to keep his BM's what they should be.

This morning I also aided the boy, but it wasn't such a panic state as yesterday. He seemed calmer (he stilled cried, but no panic frenzy for a bottle or a binky afterwards) and more relaxed about it. His BM was better too. So I will keep the mix as is for a few days and see if he will eventually pass BM's without it being a big deal. I'm not belittling him by saying that, I know it hurts like hell to pass rocks, but by production I mean it gets easier and easier that he just does it.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Poop, rashes and kicking

Rash -
I took Oz to see the docs on Friday. We saw a PA. She thinks the rash on Oz is still the baby acne and gave me some cortisone to put on it for two weeks. Since she felt he was way to young to actually test for a milk allergy (So what the Army doesn't do the blood test I guess?) she said to stay on the soy formula until the two weeks are up. If the rash is gone try the milk based formula again, if the rash comes back its a milk allergy. I guess its better than nothing. The rash does seem to be improving with the cream, so we will see.

Poop -
Oz is having a couple of poops a day but the stuff is still hard as pebbles. He's being resistant to drinking the extra water/corn syrup mix. Unfortunately I can't give him extra water in his formula because of the reflux. I've tried it and all it does is makes him spit up and cry out after feeding. So I may dillute a little prune juice which is what I see can work as a stool softener, supposedly better than apple juice.

And at his 2 month well baby stress to the doc that he's pooping but its still hard after what a month or so. I am hoping that in three weeks I won't even need to bring it up. I did ask the PA if there was a kinder reflux med on the constipation front and was told "nope."

Kickin' it -
My boy is a smart little man. I love seeing the development that's going on. He has a rainforest bouncer seat with this little attachment that plays music and has a monkey and a birdie within kicking range. The hubby and I weren't sure at first but after watching him we noticed he will stare at the the animals but start kicking like a wildman. Once the music starts and the animals move, he smiles. He's figured out how to activate his bouncer music. That's SO FRICKIN COOL!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

News Flash!

Momma 6 got to shave her legs! No more scaring the neighbors....poor neighbors.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Waiting on 6

I've said that a ton these last few weeks. I was waiting on Oz reaching 6 weeks old in the hopes that what all the baby books said were true - it gets easier from here on out. It varies from day to day (yesterday was a bad day) but yes it's true things in general do get easier. In fact last night Oz slept from 2300-0330. That's the best sleep I have ever gotten!

So happy 6 weeks of life little Oz!

Life is so rough!

Too cool for school peoples!

My six week old little man!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Greenwich Oz Time

I've been so consumed with fixing the boy or making sure at least he's not suffering, but I'm sure after all this poop talk should he ever read my blog he'd need therapy! So a little levity.....

I am anal retentive but I don't hyper schedule feedings for Oz. He pretty much eats about every 3 hours on his own without me making any crazy demands. During the day he's pretty flexible, he'll want to be fed anywhere between 2 1/2-4 hours after the prior feeding.

But at night you could set a Timex by him. No matter when his last feeding is (2100, 2130, 2200) he promptly wakes at 0100. He promptly wakes again at 0500. All throughout the day he really is flexible but these two night feedings he is spot on every frickin' time. Not sure why either, but he is.

So if you need to know what time it is in the middle of the night listen for Oz and he'll let you know when its 0100 or 0500 - you can set your watch by it!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Sad news very late

Wow I was opening my quarterly sorority magazine and I flipped through it. I always look in the marriage and new arrival section and sometimes look through the obits. I was really shocked to see that a member of my greek family line has passed away. Of course I googled to see if there was a regular obit to fill me in here's what I found:

"Our dear friend Courtney AndreasGray has lost her battle with Leukemia. She succumbed to the disease in the early morning hours of November 17, 2006. A memorial service is planned for Wednesday, November 22nd at 2pm - Chapel of the Chimes Memorial Park and Mortuary on Mission Boulevard in Hayward. A reception will follow. In lieu of flowers, the Gray family has requested that monetary donations be made to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in Courtney's memory: loving memories of Courtney... may she rest in peace..."

For those of you who didn't know Courtney, she was an amazing woman who dedicated her life to Alpha Phi. All of us at SFSU loved and admired Courtney immensely. It was because of her that Eta Theta was able to remain at SFSU and thrive. She believed in our chapter when everyone else was ready to give up. We all owe her so much. She was recognized at the 2006 Convention for all of her accomplishments and we will all miss her so much!

From Society Award The Michaelanean award was first presented at the 1972 Centennial Convention. It is given each biennium to those who have shown outstanding loyalty and continuous devotion to Alpha Phi at the local level.

Courtney Andreasgray (Eta Delta-CSU/Hayward) Courtney’s loyalty and dedication to Alpha Phi is most evident through her impact on the San Francisco State (Eta Theta) collegiate chapter as its adviser for nearly six years. She has helped the women double membership and promote a positive image of the chapter. Courtney has been the Pacific Northwest regional team’s resource in mentoring and assisting other chapter advisers. She was named Pacific Northwest Region Chapter Adviser of the Year in 2005.

She was in my family line and had just completed her presidency while I was pledging. I can vividly remember her taking classes for her JD and going to her apartment near Lake Merrit with all of our family line. Moving all over and spending time outside the country can definately make it hard to keep track of people.

I am truly saddened about hearing about Courtney. May her family and Courtney be at peace.


Yes Oz took a giant shat! But beyond that I took about an hour with a friend last night and muddled through all the mess. Luckily I wrote down most everything on the calendar and was able to realize a few things -

- The original formula GoodStart Oz was on while in the hospital before my milk came in seemed to do fine. He was pooping like a normal boy.

- Even with me mixing formula and breast milk because I wasn't producing enough he still seemed to be pooping fine. He just spat up, projectile vomited and screamed after eating.

- Once the Added Rice Starch formula was introduced his poops went down. So did his spit ups and projectile vomit. (Used for one week before the meds came into play)

- Once the reflux med was introduced his poops continued to go down to the point where it was 5 days between a poop. (This was a week as well before I called the advice nurse)

After the ER doc said change his formula again, and after reading several medical articles about how often docs change formula can make it worse and possible cause the real issue to be overlooked, I decided to go back to the GoodStart formula.

My reasoning is this - what new things were introduced to his environment?

Added Rice Starch Formula
Reflux meds

Knowing that the tear sheet for the reflux meds says it can cause constipation then why not remove one of the new items and see what happens.

So I am going to wait out a week on the original formula, using the reflux meds. If he levels off and continues to poop like he did today (2 little medium hard poops & 1 big soft poop) and gives me at least one BM a day then I am leaving it all alone and driving on. I will still keep a little extra water in his diet (unless the poops get too mushy), but if after about a week to ten days he's not pooping regular then I will go back to the doc and ask if we can switch meds to one that doesn't list constipation as a side effect.

Now what cleaned him out is a mystery also. Sadly because I felt so frickin' bad for him I gave him the 3oz of water/syrup. When nothing happened I gave him 1 1/2oz of apple juice. When that didn't make anything happen, I gave him an ounce of chamomile tea. One of them worked, I just don't know which. (oppps!)

I'm not sure what to do with the "rash." We were using the lavender baby wash even before the diet changes and I don't remember seeing a rash. I will go ahead and switch out to Aveeno, fragrance free wash and see if it helps.

But I think going back to what was working and slowly introduce one possible constipation culprit at a time is smarter than going from formula to formula. Especially when the damn drug tear sheet says it can constipate. Notice how often I've said that here? That's because the ER doc seemed to gloss over it. Nice lady, very sweet but missed me saying that over and over or just dismissed it as not relevant. Besides he was good on the first formula so I don't think this is lactose intolerance like the ER doc seems to think.

Oh and any ideas on how to get rid of what looks like cradle cap in his eyebrows? I know you aren't supposed to put soap on his face really but plain water isn't removing the flaky stuff in his eyebrows.

ETA - I went to dinner with some ladies tonight who told me the rash could be a milk allergy. Okay seems reasonable. So I will still drive on with the GoodStart for 7-10 days and if the rash is still there consider going to Soy.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

I bet you I can guess your weight...

I seriously feel like I'm walking down the arcade at a fair. All those barkers hollering and telling me they can guess my weight or I get a prize. All I need is to pick one and see how close they get. Sadly this feeling is over my child and his health. Guessing or betting on a solution for my son is not what I call even close to fun. In fact it makes mamma bear pretty damn mad. After Oz woke us at 1am with a blood curdling scream while trying to poop and two more like that this morning, we went ahead to the ER in the hopes that they could give him a stool softener. The water was definately helping him to have more poops per day, but the stuff is hard as a rock.

The ER staff was nice and put us away from all the other walking germ factories and we didn't have to wait too long either. Basically nope there is no stool softener for an infant. The doc did say to give him 1 tsp of corn syrup in 3 oz of water as a laxative/softener. What gets me though and it wasn't her fault so I'm not angry at her as much as I am irritated with the situation as a whole, is that we were given YET ANOTHER formula to try. This time its the lactose free crap. She said if after a week it didn't help, to then go to Soy. Now I think I understand that Aaron was being a total smart ass in his comment on the previous post. Oh and if the soy doesn't work then she wants me to get the $25 a small fucking can nutraginamin stuff.

So what the hell? Is the kid really lactose intolerant? Does that mean he will be lactose intolerant for life? Oh and according to the doc the pimples on his face that are now spreading down his neck and arms is actually and allergic reaction to something. So we had to change his baby bath stuff too.

So what my kid's gonna be Milhouse? Allergic to everything? I mean come on I couldn't breastfeed for an entire 6 months but he got 5 weeks at least. I would have hoped that those 5 weeks would at least help him to not be allergic to breathing...sigh

ETA - I just read several articles that state that lactose usually isn't the cause and well lactose is better than the corn syrup they put in the lactose free formulas. This really kills me - seriously.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Two steps forward....

One step back. I really wish Oz could talk. Its not that I want him to grow up right now (sleeping through the night would be cool), but be able to better tell me what's going on. I really hate the "lets see what happens" game we play with the docs and Oz. In fact its driving me nuts.

So we switched his formula to the one with the added rice starch to reduce his spit ups and projectile vomiting. Then we added his reflux meds to stop him from writhing around in pain after eating. For a week things looked pretty darn good. Oz had stopped throwing/spitting up but for maybe once a day if at all. He also stopped writhing and crying out after eating.

The only thing I noticed was that his number of dirty diaper slowed down. I figured the all formula bottles bound him up a little but wasn't worried. He pooped on Thursday, it was the right colour but kinda like face cream. Still no worries, but then yesterday he stopped eating, screamed and then started eating again. I smelled poop and finished feeding him. When I changed him the stuff was the same as playdough, but had a little blood in it.

So guess what? Oz is constipated and has a hemorrhoid. I called in a consult since the clinic had limited services on a Training Holiday. I knew this wasn't an emergency room visit, but wanted an idea about how much water I should give Oz to help out with the constipation. If it doesn't calm down over the weekend the doc wants me to come in and we will probably end up changing his formula again. I hate the changing formula thing a million times over but the boy can't go around unable to drop the kids off at the pool either.

So its two steps forward one step back. Poor kid, 5 weeks old and mom gave him hemorrhoids.