Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Oh boy, oh boy!

Today was the first U/S that the hubby got to attend. I made the dumb mistake of following directions and drank all 40 oz of my water. The destructions said to start one hour before your appointment and sadly I followed this too. (You see where this is going right?)

So we arrive at 12:20 and our appointment is at 12:30. As we wait, the urge to go is getting worse and worse. I have unbuttoned the top of my pants and have started pacing the room to kill the urge. At 12:40 we are still waiting. I lean over to the hubby and tell him that I am going to go and will be right back. "Don't go too much!" he says as I wander out of the office into the hall. I was good and didn't go more than just relieve the instant pressure.

It's now 12:50 and I am back to pacing, dancing the pee-pee dance and whimpering to the hubby. He sees a front staff member and says, "Um are we almost ready to go, otherwise we are going to have a mess here." They let me go again for a little bit in their bathroom. Finally at about 12:55 the U/S Tech comes to get me. We go through the primary exam and she keeps commenting about how full my bladder is, finally after about 15 minutes of poking my full tummy I tartly say that this is starting to get really uncomfortable. I get to go pee and I promise you it was for at least a minute!

The hubby had a great time; he got to see the face, the head, the spine, the ribs, the feet, arms etc. He watched the baby squirm, roll over and make faces at us for being poked so much. We then get our first look between the legs and there's an outtie there. Strangely I was crestfallen. I tried to hide that but the hubby saw right away and asked how often mistakes are made. As the test goes on and she's measuring bones, head diameter etc, the little booger arches his back and we get a full frontal view of just what the boy's got. My husband whispers in my ear, "Holy crap the kid is channeling Ron Jeremy!"

Finally the exam is over, I get to go pee again and we were seen by the OB. I was so tired and cranky that I kept my unrealized disappointment to myself. I thought maybe I needed to nap to be excited. I ate my Sonic and passed out on the couch. A few hours later I woke only to feel okay. I was really ashamed of myself for feeling so unhappy that it wasn't a girl. I said out loud to everybody that I didn't care what it was as long as the baby was healthy. Well apparently I lied even to myself. I am finally excited that we are having a boy and all the cool things a boy will bring our life!

I still feel a little guilty about my reaction to the news and wonder why I was so ambivalent about what the gender was until it wasn't apparently what I subconsciously wanted. Hopefully I didn't scar the bean for life with my strange thoughts.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

To parent or not to parent that is the question

How did you as a couple with children decide how the gender roles would go? How would you deal with the responsibility of parenting? Did you follow traditional roles where the wife takes care of the children for everything, do you share the responsibilities or is there a Mr. Mom in the house?

I've watched my neighbors and how they have split the parenting responibilities and I've watched another coupld from Germany who is here now split the responsibilities their way. And then I got first had experience when we went to D.C. this weekend to visit friends. They have two children now, a 3 year old and a 15 month old.

I have to say that I am not fond of the traditional role - not in the least. Now I don't know if she chose this for herself like my next door neighbor did (she's a control freak and then wonders why her husband never helps - he was never allowed to help so he doesn't bother to when he is now asked), but J was run ragged. M had time to do his hobbies, he had time to drink beer, booze etc, where J was lucky to get a shower. J was up at 0630 with the kids, fed them, clothed them, played with them and kept them out of trouble. M got up went running, took a shower, waited for her to fix him breakfast, asked where we wanted to go and took us there. We went out as a couple one night for an hour and a half for dinner - that was it. Otherwise J stayed home with the kids the entire time. Even while we were in the home he did nothing with the kids other than an occasional "stop doing that" type comment to one of the kids.

I personally don't want that for myself. We have several couples with kids under 1 year of age who share what they do. They each get personal time - guy time, girls night out etc and share time where they go out with the baby with friends. They share feedings, changing, putting the kiddo to bed, have a beer with baby on your lap, etc. This is what we as a couple want for ourselves when the bean is born.

This traditional role where the man does nothing with the child at all, and I seriously mean nothing just doesn't seem right to me. It seems like the man got all the fun and the woman got all the work.

What about you? Its it a 80/20 split, 50/50 or no split at all? How do you feel about gender roles and parenting? What works for you?

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

The Scream

Ever seen the painting "The Scream?" Great painting, interesting and apparently my kid has the same sense of humor. While going through the first trimester screening for Down Syndrome I mentioned that I was concerned that my kid had only one arm and why the hell does my kid have only one fricking arm? So the Doctor changed the view by moving the wand around and gave me a top shot of the bean. The bean looks like the Scream doesnt the bean?

After about 20 minutes of poking around the Doc couldn't get the bean behave and play nice for the camera. So he starts poking my belly, literally poking it trying to get the bean to move and roll over. The bean didn't like this one bit and after about 5 minutes of poking the bean got pissed. I'm watching the screen and I see this little arm go up towards the end of the screen and it started banging on the ceiling! The bean was beating back at the doc smacking him around with the U/S wand. I guess this is a true tribute to my Irish heritage!

So our bean is good. The tests came back very good. We have a 1 in 4223 chance of the bean having Downs and a 1 in 9661 chance of the bean having an extra chromozone. So we are skipping the amnio - things look good!