Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Close to home

I did find care and I am really happy. Its an in home provider. I like the way the interview was structured, the number of children she has, the location etc. She basically made me feel comfortable and I'm going with my gut. I interviewed over the phone and in person several other people over the last few days and NO ONE made me feel as at ease at who we chose.

I am 2 minutes from her home and will go and have my lunch there every day. Its a good place and I am really happy that God, karma or kissmit smiled on our family for placing this person in our path.

So since the anons seem to want to comment no matter what - here's my question to you: So the single mom, the single parent what do you expect them to do? Become homeless? Crap the army only allows 6 weeks, yes 6 weeks which is even less than FMLA's 12 weeks. What are these single parents supposed to do?

BTW - Oz is 9 weeks tomorrow! Yeah to my little boy!


K and J said...

We do just what you did. We find the place that best fits our needs and our gut feel. I am happy you found a place.


liberal army wife said...

you are happy with the provider, you made the best decision for your family, and that's all you need. As for the anons... they should shove it up their 4th point of contact...sideways! bunch of knowitall cowards.


Beth said...

Okay, now you know my name. I'm not sure how this helps you, but you know it so you'll have to pick something else to bitch about.

I'm happy for you that you found a situation with which you are comfortable. Peace of mind is imperative when it comes to child care choices.

I still contend that you come across as very unhappy. Nothing seems to be good enough for you and it's usually someone else's fault, it seems. I realize this is only one facet of your personality and I do hope I'm wrong.

I admit to being out of my lane with my judgement that more moms should stay at home. I very much know many do not have a choice. The world is not a perfect one. However many DO have a choice. My undergrad is in early childhood education and, though it was a few years ago, I spent a great deal of observation and practicum time in day care facilities as well as home care establishments. THEY WILL NOT CARE FOR YOUR CHILD THE WAY YOU WILL. There have been several books written on this topic (as you can imagine) but by far the most compelling are those authored by day care owners and workers.

You're right, I do not know how much you were offered for this position. Again, I ask you, is what you're sacrificing worth what you're gaining? Only you can decide and it looks like you've already done that. [BTW, I do know the minimum of what you're husband makes and it's not difficult to figure out about how long he's been in since he just completed ILE. If he was prior enlisted that would only add to your salary, not detract from it. Not sure what point you were trying to make here.]

One more thing because I couldn't help but laugh when I thought of it: You don't want your in-laws to come since you have a new baby and there is an adjustment time, and he needs to spend time with his father before he deploys, etc., but you are perfectly willing to begin a new job and take on the stresses that entails right before your husband deploys? Nice...

K and J said...

Actually, Beth, i think that adding a job in a new location adds another layer of social support which she is very much going to need while her husband deploys for 15 months. Being alone with a newborn away from family is tough. Heck, being with a newborn with family is tough.

I know my blog is often the place I vent on the things that have happened that I don't have another venue to release. Blogging is a fairly safe way to express in a more positive manner. Everything I have know about HH6 over the last 3 years I have known her, she is a pretty darn happy woman.

So there is my defense.

We all try to do the best that we can at any given time in our lives. That is all we can do.

Anonymous said...

Found you via AWTM.

I just wanted to give my support to you - I too just gave birth and have sent my son to daycare so I could return to work. He's four months old now and he is doing wonderfully; he loves his daycare. YOU DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FOR YOUR FAMILY! Ignore those that critize, they obviously are not contented themselves if they have nothing better to do than pick on a new mother.

Anonymous said...

There is no one answer to the issue of single, divorced moms/dads. In my practice I have clients who are single moms, divorced moms, etc.,who ask what they can do to stop their children from crying/clinging to them when they drop them off for day care. My response is ALWAYS met with a dropped jaw. I tell them that in their children's mind, they are being abandoned, and that the behavior is normal for a child being abandoned and that my hope is that the children NEVER stop the crying/clinging. (The nerve of me saying that.) The next ? I get is - will it stop. Of course it will stop eventually, but the abandonment feeling won't go away. It will only be expressed in other ways according to the child's age/development. I've read your blog for quite some time along with other military spouse blogs. I'm a former army spouse myself. I see several military clients in my practice and I find it interesting to understand the mindset. In the past, you had an entry where you mentioned your infertility, in another entry you mentioned that your husband was due to deploy. I scratch my head. Not only is your very very young child going to be without a dad for a while (which I rightly understand is unavoidable), but now his mother is willingly allowing another person to raise him and she will come visit at lunch. How lovely. In situations like this, I will always side with the child. After all the children and families that I counsel, each day I wonder what it will take for people to get their priorities straight.

Household6 said...

Beth my point about my husband's pay is that you are making a big assumption about why a job even came into play. You are making judgements based on a guess about ILE, his pay etc and you have no idea if I was even looking for a job.

I already addressed the job before deployment issue in a post and again I say you aren't very astute - I don't get along with my MIL. My FIL and I get along and his sister and I get along. MIL and I buttheads and while I was recovering from major surgery I didn't want her there to add stress to the situation of me healing.

As for your point I don't get it was? How can the husband bond when he's at work during the day? So if I am out of the house during the day as well then the bonding is done as a family in the evening and on the weekends. So your point of it being nice is what? Oh that's right - its moot.

Household6 said...

You wonder what it takes for people to get their priorities straight? Hmmm maybe when you realize this isn't the 1950's and I'm not June Cleaver.

keri said...

I still dont understand why all these people feel like its ok to judge you & the decision your husband & you have made for your family.

Like you said, this is your blog, your journel, & outlet. At what point did you open it up and say "Please offer your condescending & un helpful opinon?

To Anon & others, no one likes being judged, especially by strangers.

Tracy said...

Keri said: "I still dont understand why all these people feel like its ok to judge you & the decision your husband & you have made for your family."

That's what I am scratching my head at. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but to judge someone so completely b/c it's not the decision THEY would have made just boggles my mind.