Why doesn’t anyone pay Kelly for the stuff they take from her store? Manny just asks for it and Kelly just hands it out.And for that matter, why doesn’t ANYBODY pay for anything? I mean I’ve never seen Mrs. Portillo pay for the repairs Manny makes.
Why isn’t there a husband to Manny’s sister and a father to her child?In fact why aren’t there any partners at all for Abuelito, Kelly, Manny, Manny’s Sister or the Chinese or Indian families? There’s always just one parent with a kid??
Why don’t strangers freak out when tools talk to them?
How in the hell does Manny know how to fix everything from a stove, to a fire truck light bar to an elevator? I mean seriously do you WANT him fixing the elevator – something that can plummet to the earth from several stories up?
Where does Manny live, in the back of his shop?
Where does everyone pay the bills? I’ve never seen anything but the Mayor’s office.
Do the tools co-sleep in Manny’s bed?
Has anyone ever noticed just how much of an asshat Mr. Lopart is? He's always rude to Manny yet Manny fixes his screw ups all the frickin' time!
The Tools love eating but where the hell do they poop from?
Does anybody ever get laid in Sheetrock hills?
Does Kelly ever grab Manny behind the paint shelves and ask him if he wants to “hit this?”
Yes I've lost my mind with singleparenthood............
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
On Thursday I hit the breaking point of a culmination of a lot of things. Mentally, physically and spiritually I have had enough and am struggling. After a lousy day at work on my way to get Oz I had to pull over and cried uncontrollably for 20 minutes. I felt so sad, overwhelmed and without hope. Throw in a few dark thoughts and I basically scared the shit out of myself. I went home that night and promised myself that if I still felt this way the next morning I'd call someone.....I did and I did.
I called my non-biological sister. She's a sister by adaption not adoption but I've become a member of her family when hers were abusive shits and she formed her own family. I knew that if I exposed it all, said it all, without abridging or editing anything that she wold not freak out. I didn't need a state of panic I needed a rock.....A Christina if you saw the last episode of Grey's.
First, just talking outloud, even the dark stuff made a thousand pound weight feel more like 20 lbs. I've taken on too much this deployment and something has got to go. I'm working fulltime, my work is trying to suspend me for taking a stupid form someone marked out the word "homosexual" on with whiteout, I've got a full course load for grad school, the husband's deployed, I'm a single parent, my kid is a toddler, my FRG is not very active and I have no family around to lean on physically. My sister wondered how it took me 5 months into the deployment before I reached my limit.
We worked out some things like she's coming to visit in May, the MIL is coming in April and I am to ask my parents or my brother to come out in June. Either they can babysit or I get a sitter and at least one night while they are here I am to go and do something, anything that I want to do. I also need to evaluate my feelings once a week and if after a few weeks or a month if I still feel sad, hopeless or overwhelmed I am to get my arse to a doc and look at being seen for depression.
I'm also setting up a time line to resign from work. After I finish writing up my response to my proposed suspension and I get what ever it is I am railroaded into I am either finding a new job or resigning. Right now my income pays for home improvements and the last of grad school. I just bought a new fence and have one last semester of school to pay for. After those two things are paid off if I haven't found a new job I'm giving a single finger salute to work and resigning. Money won't be free flowing like it is now, but we can survive with just one income.
Unfortunately I may lose my mind since I enjoy working when I don't work in an office of asshats. I like the adult conversation that I get from working with customers and such. I also worry because Oz loves it at daycare. He loves the kids, his vocab is off the charts (minus mommy teaching him the f-bomb) and really enjoys his teacher. I'm hoping to find a job somewhere else so I don't have to quit the big picture just get out of the nuthouse.
Anyways, I feel like I can at least breath now. I have a plan of attack, a plan of what to do should these feelings not go away and am reaching out to my family and friends for support which they are happy to give. I can't wait until June which is pretty much my cutoff date for leaving the nuthouse. So there is a light at the end of tunnel, thank God for my sister.
I called my non-biological sister. She's a sister by adaption not adoption but I've become a member of her family when hers were abusive shits and she formed her own family. I knew that if I exposed it all, said it all, without abridging or editing anything that she wold not freak out. I didn't need a state of panic I needed a rock.....A Christina if you saw the last episode of Grey's.
First, just talking outloud, even the dark stuff made a thousand pound weight feel more like 20 lbs. I've taken on too much this deployment and something has got to go. I'm working fulltime, my work is trying to suspend me for taking a stupid form someone marked out the word "homosexual" on with whiteout, I've got a full course load for grad school, the husband's deployed, I'm a single parent, my kid is a toddler, my FRG is not very active and I have no family around to lean on physically. My sister wondered how it took me 5 months into the deployment before I reached my limit.
We worked out some things like she's coming to visit in May, the MIL is coming in April and I am to ask my parents or my brother to come out in June. Either they can babysit or I get a sitter and at least one night while they are here I am to go and do something, anything that I want to do. I also need to evaluate my feelings once a week and if after a few weeks or a month if I still feel sad, hopeless or overwhelmed I am to get my arse to a doc and look at being seen for depression.
I'm also setting up a time line to resign from work. After I finish writing up my response to my proposed suspension and I get what ever it is I am railroaded into I am either finding a new job or resigning. Right now my income pays for home improvements and the last of grad school. I just bought a new fence and have one last semester of school to pay for. After those two things are paid off if I haven't found a new job I'm giving a single finger salute to work and resigning. Money won't be free flowing like it is now, but we can survive with just one income.
Unfortunately I may lose my mind since I enjoy working when I don't work in an office of asshats. I like the adult conversation that I get from working with customers and such. I also worry because Oz loves it at daycare. He loves the kids, his vocab is off the charts (minus mommy teaching him the f-bomb) and really enjoys his teacher. I'm hoping to find a job somewhere else so I don't have to quit the big picture just get out of the nuthouse.
Anyways, I feel like I can at least breath now. I have a plan of attack, a plan of what to do should these feelings not go away and am reaching out to my family and friends for support which they are happy to give. I can't wait until June which is pretty much my cutoff date for leaving the nuthouse. So there is a light at the end of tunnel, thank God for my sister.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Saturday, March 07, 2009
What a difference
I'm not a parenting genius. I've made mistakes (my kid says the FBomb no thanks to my roof being torn up and me seeing it). But I have noticed that I'm getting better each day and that I'm getting fairly good at observing.
One of my observations today was that Oz was being a little terd more and more throughout the day. He was also a little more on the whiney side. These aren't normal for him. Yes he tortures the dog for what ever unknown reason I can't get worked out yet but towards me he's a very loving and friendly little guy. So being a terd, whiney and hanging out on my lap for more than 20 minutes is a bad sign.
So throughout the day I've been checking his temp. Nothing major, normal mostly with a little spike around 1800 to 99.9 degrees. I just kept pushing the fluids and gave him some Tylenol. Around 1830 while sitting in my lap watchin for the umpteen time a Handy Manny episode and eating grapes Oz proceeds to vomit - everywhere. He got me, himself, his hair, the lazyboy, the turkish carpet, the kitchen floor, the kitchen sink (I put him in the sink while he finished) and the kitchen counter. Grapes the second time around smells horrible...ewwwwie. Of course you know the house keeper came today so everything was clean.
I bite the bullet and strip the boy but he starts freaking in the sink. Half dressed and shivering (mainly from the scare of vomiting) now I drag him upstairs to the bath. He was so happy to see that bathtub. I strip him the rest of the way and plop him into the tub. I strip myself and run to get new clothes for me since I was leaving him more than an arms reach from me in a tub with water. He played for a bit and I wiped him down to get off the stink.
He was a light eater today so eventhough I was so proud that he'd been bottle free for over two weeks now, I handed him a bottle with a Pedialyte and grape juice mix. The grape juice cuts the salty taste. Wouldn't you know that puking was the perfect thing for him? Yeah his temp went down, his head didn't feel warm anymore and he was all about playing. I wish I had paid attention to the signs a bit earlier and maybe I could have stopped feeding him grapes.
Seriously I am done with this deployment. I am frustrated at being home alone with all this good stuff happens to just me. I've got some work issues too that are compounding my feelings of not being able to hack it right now - but they are so messy and personal that I don't want to talk about it.
One of my observations today was that Oz was being a little terd more and more throughout the day. He was also a little more on the whiney side. These aren't normal for him. Yes he tortures the dog for what ever unknown reason I can't get worked out yet but towards me he's a very loving and friendly little guy. So being a terd, whiney and hanging out on my lap for more than 20 minutes is a bad sign.
So throughout the day I've been checking his temp. Nothing major, normal mostly with a little spike around 1800 to 99.9 degrees. I just kept pushing the fluids and gave him some Tylenol. Around 1830 while sitting in my lap watchin for the umpteen time a Handy Manny episode and eating grapes Oz proceeds to vomit - everywhere. He got me, himself, his hair, the lazyboy, the turkish carpet, the kitchen floor, the kitchen sink (I put him in the sink while he finished) and the kitchen counter. Grapes the second time around smells horrible...ewwwwie. Of course you know the house keeper came today so everything was clean.
I bite the bullet and strip the boy but he starts freaking in the sink. Half dressed and shivering (mainly from the scare of vomiting) now I drag him upstairs to the bath. He was so happy to see that bathtub. I strip him the rest of the way and plop him into the tub. I strip myself and run to get new clothes for me since I was leaving him more than an arms reach from me in a tub with water. He played for a bit and I wiped him down to get off the stink.
He was a light eater today so eventhough I was so proud that he'd been bottle free for over two weeks now, I handed him a bottle with a Pedialyte and grape juice mix. The grape juice cuts the salty taste. Wouldn't you know that puking was the perfect thing for him? Yeah his temp went down, his head didn't feel warm anymore and he was all about playing. I wish I had paid attention to the signs a bit earlier and maybe I could have stopped feeding him grapes.
Seriously I am done with this deployment. I am frustrated at being home alone with all this good stuff happens to just me. I've got some work issues too that are compounding my feelings of not being able to hack it right now - but they are so messy and personal that I don't want to talk about it.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Progress...on both counts
We are finally past the 33% mark for my donut of misery! Yes, only 66% more to go on this deployment. *Insert Snoopy dance here*
All my blood work is back and it all checked out. I don't have a blood disorder, at least not at the moment. I am supposed to get tested again in 6 months. If it checks out clear, then I shouldn't have to worry. That's good news for me, I can stop worrying about cancer. Yes I know just about everything symptom wise can be tracked back to some form of cancer, but the blood disorder they were concerned about has a risk of morphing into leukemia and you have a 19 month old - it puts the scare to you.
So two counts of good news!
All my blood work is back and it all checked out. I don't have a blood disorder, at least not at the moment. I am supposed to get tested again in 6 months. If it checks out clear, then I shouldn't have to worry. That's good news for me, I can stop worrying about cancer. Yes I know just about everything symptom wise can be tracked back to some form of cancer, but the blood disorder they were concerned about has a risk of morphing into leukemia and you have a 19 month old - it puts the scare to you.
So two counts of good news!
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