Ugh

I'm done freaking out about my son's developmental conditions. I'm sure he's fine and he's actually doing some things differently now. I just had one of those first time mommy panic things, but since I'm a first time mommy you'll let that slide.

I am a little freaked out about something else now. On Friday I was offered a job. Its in my field, in the office I wanted to work in, back in federal service and a salary that is very nice. They tentatively offered and I tentatively accepted. I'm just a little freaked over putting an 8 week old in child care.

Honestly I'm hoping the child care places are a little full so I can't start work until November 1st. I am going to ask for it too from my new employer if she can accommodate me starting a month from now. I want Oz to be a little older before going into day care. Actually I was hoping that job offers would have come ohh about the 6 month mark.

Its definitely a crisis of conscious. I want the job, but I want to make sure my little boy is treated well, taken care of and doesn't get left to cry all day or anything. I've already put out leads to a group of women that came from Leavenworth and a coffee group. I like the safety of a CDC that's large, well watched and I can get to in 5 minutes if I need to. But I don't like that they may or may not be able to accommodate his reflux and sometimes he's still a little shy on pooping on his own which could be an issue as well.

Hopefully I can find the child care place that makes me feel comfortable and okay with leaving my son there for such a long time. I'd always been one of those "I will go back to work" chicks and I want to, but I want to do it when he's 6 months or so. Funny how those things change when you swore it never would.

ETA - I spent about an hour talking to a friend who has left their child in the places I am looking at, as well as working there at one point in time. I feel much more comfortable with the situation now. I know that Oz will be cared for, properly cared for that is and won't be left to cry all day because he's a hungry little man who eats every two hours.

So keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer if you pray that there's space available at the CDC. At least on post, I can visit at lunch every day with the little man and be close to the medical clinic should he need treatment.