Monday, August 27, 2007

Holy Baby Shit Batman!

Gotta laugh at myself, seriously I do....

Ed and I hit the clinics today. First him, he is a serious fatty which is great. He's now 9 lbs 11 oz, which makes me think when I went in last week they made an error converting the weight from kilos to lbs. Anyways the doc heard me out and said no problem on trying the meds for the one month until we do our well baby in a month. (speaking of which I need to call and make an appt for that.) So tonight I will give him his first dose and see how this goes.

Then it was my turn, my incision is infected and a part of one of the sutures was sticking out of my skin and it was an internal suture. According to the doc, I'm okay and it doesn't need antibiotics, but to keep an eye on it, keep it clean, dry and if it smells funky then to come back. I also got my post partum check up. The Doc said to leave my 3 fibroids and my endo attached ovaries alone. If we want a second child, cleaning the stuff out right now is a bad idea since it will just grow back and could get worse.

So back to baby shit - The nurse was kind enough to feed Oz while I was being examined. I went to the waiting room to pick him up and burp him to have a pregnant woman tell me he's dirty. Oz had a major blowout. It came out both legs, up the back and all over kingdom come. Of course since I picked him up I ended up with baby shit all over the front of me. There was no changing table on that floor so I had to walk around covered in baby shit, my boy covered in shit and wander to a place to change him. Apparently when I try the thermometer up his little bum it didn't do a damn thing for helping Oz take a crap. The Med Tech does it and Oz loses 5 days worth of crap into his diaper.

I used ALL of my wipes just cleaning him off. I also used his onesie to help clean me off. He had it on his socks, onesie, blanket and body. I just started dumping dirty clothes on the floor of the bathroom. A couple of moms wandered in and I got "oh a blow out I'm sorry." They even offered a few wipes since I used all of mine just to clean him up. Finally we get him clean, changed and cleaned up the car seat/stroller as best as I could.

Now mind you I brought Oz clean clothes in my diaper bag, I didn't bring me any. So I got to sit in the pharmacy for 45 minutes covered in smelly, green, baby shit. That was so much fun and thankfully, no one said a word to me about being covered in crap.

I never thought such a small little ass could produce so much shit in one sitting. Oh and I must ask the tech next time what is the special technique that they do in order to create the mass Exodus of baby crap within 5 minutes of having a thermometer stuck in their behind.

Ohhhh and on some adorable news - Oz smiled at me and Dad while we were talking to him. This was his first smile that didn't have anything to do with him farting or taking a crap.


Linda said...

can't help but giggle at the whole poop incident! I often wondered how it was possible to produce that much crap in one tiny losing an entire baby's worth of weight with all that poop!!!

K and J said...

Oh, now I feel really bad cuz I didn't think to tell you that would happen!!!! The good news is that usually most moms only get to have one good poop story per kid. So you have yours out of the way!!!!

Evidently either my brother or I or someone in the family filled up one of those baby buckets on a shopping cart....... does that make you feel any better?

oh and I did giggle too.

Aaron said...

I just about shit myself reading this! :)

It gets better soon. I promise. You're so lucky to have a smile this early, by the way. We tried so hard, because all the baby books said he should be socially smiling by X weeks, and Cole wasn't doing it yet.

Mama Luxe said...

YAY for baby come BABY GIGGLES!!! My favorite.

Glad they gave you the meds. Whether you use them or not, it is nice to at least have someone trust your instincts!

Oh, my...blowouts. Yeah. Those are always just tons o' fun. You are so much classier than I am. I would have just whipped out the changing pad and changed him on the floor...after all, everyone could already see/smell it!

Anonymous said...

you don't know me but I had to laugh at the poop blow out....I guess we mom's go through this with every child.....
My son was on Reglan and Zantac till 11 months (that's when the pucking stopped with regular table food) I quit breastfeeding at 6 weeks just for the fact,why am I doing it when he gets rid of it anyways, and I wasn't ever a fully commited breastfeeding mom. The reglan helped wonder and the Zantac as well, he wouldn't cry that much anymore and the food would at least stay in a little longer. good luck
Susi (stationed in Germany right now)

Butterfly Wife said...

Awww. That smile. That is so precious! Makes all the troubles in the world melt away for a brief moment. :D

Jenna said...

I was just reading your archives (instead of sleeping) and I am so sorry, but this post was absolutely halarious. I know that God has some awful horrid thing planned for me because I laughed so hard. :( It's one of those thing you can laugh about only because it wasn't you.