Not Buddha

I may be as round as Buddha, but alas I am not Buddha. Why then do people insist on rubbing my belly as if I am the perfect model of a Laughing Buddha? Rubbing me will not bring you good luck and you are just lucky that I can't waddle fast enough to catch you and smack you for invading my personal space.

I tried what the midwife said tonight. I knelt on the couch and leaned over, put my hands down and slowly dropped my head to the floor. I need to remember to pull my hair back because I got caught on my own hair later. Which was quite comical seeing a big pregnant chick attempt to get back up from that position and whose arms were tangled in her hair. I stayed in that position until I felt like I couldn't really breath well and then came back up. I have no idea how long it is I am expected to stay like that but we will see if it helps in the migration of Oz and his totally fat head!