Without getting graphic, the spouse and I took a somewhat scary step for us – the attempt to get pregnant over the weekend. It was weird in the sense that we are so anal retentive, to have so much planned out and then to just “see what happens” is really frightening for me. Yeah I know, “Haven’t you just…because? Or got caught up in the moment and forgot?” The answer to that is: No, we haven’t. We have never thrown caution to the wind when it came down to babies; it’s all been planned out, budgeted for and controlled.
Right now we have no control, it’s all based on timing, biology and faith – that scares the crap out of me. Honestly this is weird, I can’t control when we conceive (not totally), I can’t take a stick test everyday just to see where we are at in this whole process, its just so unnerving to have so little visible control. To bad I can’t conceive on a scheduled day and time...Heaven help this poor kid when it finally makes to the world with such a Type A Mommy! Oh well, at least we get to practice…and practice makes perfect (or a baby in our case).
5 comments:
Reading your entry here makes me realize just how much alike we are. The whole waiting and "crapshoot" and "lottery" and "there's really such a small statistical chance" thing has been making me crazy for a few months now.
You know I'm sending happy baby luck your way!
wow- I wish I had your guys' sense of structure and planning
good luck!
The military hasn't beat that out of you?
I used to want to control and plan everything...but the military really makes that impossible!
Maybe you should plan something else down to the last details so you can relax duing the conception process.
If you'd like to come plan some aspect of my life, feel free if it will help you relax!
No, I have no ulterior motive ;-)
Rose - That would be our baby's middle name if one girl and a first name if twins! I really hope that we both beat the odds and get the kiddos of our hearts desire!
Christie - No you don't want to be this uber organized - its annoying at times, seriously. Luckily we are "high strung" over different things so we balance each other out if the other gets out of control.
AAW - Are you kidding? The Army couldn't beat that out of us over his 11 years and my 8 as his spouse! We just adapted, there are plans A-G just in case the Army changes their mind - we've got a plan for it - LOL!!
HH6
remember to have fun. Too many people just try to plan it all out. It is when they stop that non-sense that they get preggers!
Hugs
Post a Comment