Without getting graphic, the spouse and I took a somewhat scary step for us – the attempt to get pregnant over the weekend. It was weird in the sense that we are so anal retentive, to have so much planned out and then to just “see what happens” is really frightening for me. Yeah I know, “Haven’t you just…because? Or got caught up in the moment and forgot?” The answer to that is: No, we haven’t. We have never thrown caution to the wind when it came down to babies; it’s all been planned out, budgeted for and controlled.
Right now we have no control, it’s all based on timing, biology and faith – that scares the crap out of me. Honestly this is weird, I can’t control when we conceive (not totally), I can’t take a stick test everyday just to see where we are at in this whole process, its just so unnerving to have so little visible control. To bad I can’t conceive on a scheduled day and time...Heaven help this poor kid when it finally makes to the world with such a Type A Mommy! Oh well, at least we get to practice…and practice makes perfect (or a baby in our case).