Last night was the first time in about two weeks that I have worked out since I quit karate. Quitting was a very hard decision but was probably an okay one. I miss it, I miss the internal discipline it gives me, the stress relief and the release of pent up energy. It just got to the point that as my brother put it, “It’s not that you don’t have anymore to learn but that this Sensei has nothing more to teach you.”
For the last year my friend and I have gone to class on a regular basis only to learn 1 form and two knife techniques. Most of the time we teach class, assist in teaching class or end up basically sitting through an aerobic kickboxing class. It became frustrating to sit stagnant in our growth and never get to practice what we had learned. The last time we sparred was November, I think. Back when I was a yellow belt we were told to sit and watch patiently while the higher ranking students went through their forms. He never stopped class so long that it would get boring, but it gave some time for them to practice what they’ve learned. We never got that. We would go through the first three forms 5-6 times and then move on, never touching forms at our level.
After a year of basically attending aerobics class that I paid $80 a month for when I could go on post for free I had had enough. Several students have talked to him about this issue and he would fix it for about 2-3 weeks then back to the same old, same old. I had hoped to leave here a blackbelt but that just was not in the mix. When you add the incident where he drunkenly acted an arse in my own home, plus my spouse and I trying to get pregnant – it really was just time to move on. I can’t test for blackbelt pregnant anyways. I have to be able to fight full force, take hits and falls and a little one in the incubator just wouldn’t be good to take a chance on.
So after feeling sullen and throwing a pity party that I had left one of the biggest loves of my life, I finally got off my arse and did something. I can tell I haven’t done jack crap for the last two weeks. My shoulders hurt, my lower right side of my back hurts (need to look at my workstation too) and I have energy again.
I will find another dojo once we hit the states. I will continue in some form of martial arts again, I just enjoy it so much. I hope to find my style but if not I will try for JKD. I also hope to find a dojo that doesn’t shy away from the more spiritual aspects of martial arts. Sensei was always so afraid that some parent would file a complaint and yank their kid because we did a formal bow in. Formal bow-ins included three bows; One to Okinawa, one to our founder, and one to our dojo. It was hardly religious by any means but I guess just the state of a sue happy world.
Wax on, Wax off but always look eye....