Stupid Human Tricks

New gadgets can be cool. Over the weekend I got what I needed to make a German cucumber salad, with a creamy dill dressing. A few months ago I also bought one of the veggie slicers from Pampered Chef. You know the kind where you can place it on top of a bowl and cut away. It has three or four different blades for all sorts of slicing and dicing.

Sunday night I pulled out the stuff and started cutting things up. Well this stupid human had too big a chunk of cucumber and the special gripping tool slipped. Yep, I sliced off a quarter inch of my left middle finger. I tried just sticking my finger in my mouth hoping that it was a small cut, but that was a pipe dream. After about ten minutes of cursing and cussing like a sailor the bleeding stopped. I was able to finish my salad (after cleaning the mess off of the slicer). Thank goodness nothing yucky ended up in the bowl or I would have had to throw it all away.

The worst part of this is work. Typing hurts like hell and did you know what finger hits the most common letter in the English language? Yep, the letter “E” is keyed with your left middle finger. Oh and lets not forget me trying to brush my teeth, floss them, button the cuff of my shirt, unbutton my pants and writing. All of these things require the use of my left middle finger…damn this sucks.