Thursday, February 02, 2006

Reality is upon us

Man, oh man it really hit home last night that my husband will be home soon. Last night I attended a special reintegration FRG meeting. There was a speaker from ACS about the psychological problems that can occur when your spouse first comes home, as well at the Chaplin who talked about our resources available should we notice the signs of PTSD.

As I sat there listening to the ACS speaker I sort of had to laugh a little. Maybe I understand human nature or should have been a psych major in college because, 99.9% of things she was saying I already knew. I had to restrain myself from playing with the baby staring at me from the row in front of me so that it didn’t appear like I wasn’t listening. I am listening but I have found that my learning style is the most annoying (to the instructor) of all the learning styles because I need to “fidget” while listening. Yep, I learn better while I doodle, play with playdough, or squish a stressball. Now you see where the annoying part comes in, it can really distract an instructor or make them feel insulted if they think you aren’t paying attention.

Honestly it got a little boring. I know not to expect too much from him on the first day back. I know my routine will need to be adjusted, that I will trip over his boots in the hallway, share the cable TV, and fight over the covers in bed. We both know that we will test the waters to see where we are in the stages of intimacy, and not push each other into anything.

We also know how to communicate pretty well with each other. During R&R I let him know about the changes that took place in the house, such as leaving nothing in the sink the day the cleaning lady comes. I also showed him what I had done with the bills and budget, and tried to maintain his process that he uses to track our budgeting. In general I also just gave him space. This gave us a chance to mesh our routines together and get used to each other. We both sought out each others company and asked for space when we needed it without giving or feeling guilty about it.

These things all seem like common sense to me, so why do some people act like this was the first time they had ever heard of or even thought of these things? Maybe I am just lucky that my family and my spouse are people that foster good communication with me. Maybe I just talk to damn much and I think that people are hearing me? I guess I just am having a hard time understanding why some folks don’t get what appear to be the simplest tasks. But then this thought makes me feel like a conceited arse. I am not better than anyone else and I am sure that there are things that they could do or know about that I couldn’t even fathom. I guess I feel guilty over understanding how this kind of stuff works.

Anyways, redeployment is on the horizon. In fact it is so close that I could taste it, touch it and give it a good spank. Not much longer now and I can complain all I want about how he makes the damn bed to hot to sleep in and steal the covers when he least expects it.


cole said...

You are going to do fine. Not to mention it will give you fonder for your Hugs to you both!

Lauren said...

You shouldn't feel guilty at all and you're not an arse. Some couples just communicate and tune into one another better than others. The two of you do, and that's an awesome thing! (We do, too, and I'm completely with you in these thoughts of yours. I can assure you that my husband would be, himself, if he read this.) :-)
I can feel your excitement while reading this about redeployment being right around the corner. How exciting, too!! Here's hoping the time flies by for you!

julie anna said...

I'm excited for you!!