Monday, May 23, 2005

Blue Man Group

This was not a great weekend. I was finally hit with a nice bout of the blahs, woe is me. It didn't start out as a bad weekend, in fact it was a really looking like a great weekend. Friday was a day off of work for me and I had accomplished a large number of little things I needed to get done.

It was Friday night that seemed to drag me into the land of unhappy bunnies. My sensei left for a week in the states and myself along with a few blackbelt students were left to run classes. Just about 4 hours of teaching and training was more than enough to make anyone person mad as a hatter. Most of the kids ignore you because they don't know you and that is frustrating. Especially the little kids because you can't quip off some remark about how they need to pay attention to the adults running the class - as a parent may get upset and tell sensei that you are an evil teacher. I already made a child cry once in class so I try hard to make sure I use "happy lady voice" to keep the peace. (Its another story for another day but it was his fault - he just never got called to the carpet for endangering another student before).

The specialty (blackbelt club) class and the adult class was "torture the ookie night" and guess who was ookie? Not only do we practice the forms required to gain rank but we also practice self defense. I am talking Marine Corps get the bad guy kind of self defense. So I as the exercise unfolds you hear..."okay, you deflect the first punch, grab them here, knee here, elbow here, groin shot.....and then wham sweep to the floor drop your knee into their neck and start hitting the kidneys." I breath a sigh as J's knee pushes into my neck - he believes in realism (so do I) so I wait patiently while he answers questions, knee still crammed into my neck. After a second demonstration we are told to practice ten times each with out partner - but of course J says the two demonstrations don't count. So twelve times in a row I end up on the ground knee in the neck thinking about when will it be my turn.

By the end of the night I am actually thinking that I really need to go buy a bottle of wine before going home. I really don't drink much (compared to college) and have never drank alone in my life. I was so beat, so tired, so just bleh that I finished two glasses of wine and was asleep by 2200.

I apparently wanted or needed sleep as I didn't wake until noon. I was supposed to drive to Belgium early in the morning to change a furniture order but didn't leave until 1500. I had a lack luster attitude but was craving people interaction. I made it back to Germany in record time as my friend called and invited me to dinner. They preordered for me, about 5 minutes after I arrived my food ended up on the plate. T wasn't having a good day either. We blame it on the weather since my husband isn't here to be the source of my trials. I listened while they spoke about going and getting a drink afterwards - mom needed a break from the kids. I finished eating my dinner and didn't say much. I was wondering if I could tag along but didn't want to ask. I wanted to be in a bar - which is odd. I am not a bar hopper, I am a pub crawler. Darts, pints and long, deep discussions about politics, religion and family are more my speed than the traditional European disco. But strangely I still wanted to go.

We parted ways and they kindly paid for my dinner. I made a quiet protest, they have a large family and in typical Sicilian fashion I was told "shut up, we're paying for your dinner." I love her some days -its a mirror image of me except I'm Irish and taller (snark). My night ended early with me watching two movies and being in bed by midnight.

Sunday wasn't much better. I felt more isolated than the day before. Again I didn't move until noon from the bed - the dog didn't either which is really sad. I made a vain attempt to see Toby Keith but nobody would answer their phone. I break out in a sweat just thinking about large crowds so attempting to navigate my way through people I don't know in an attempt to find folks I thought would be there was just not an option - so I passed. I ended up seeing Star Wars instead. That movie was so dark it just drug me down farther into feeling sorry for myself.

I spent the rest of my day on the couch, staring mindlessly at the TV. I didn't clean, I didn't do laundry, I just sat. The only time I moved was when the dog insisted that I take her on a walk. Her method of insisting is to go find and get every single toy she has and throw it at me. Yes, throw it. She's learned how to bounce the ball for herself by raising her head, throwing it forward and releasing the ball. She threw almost all of her toys at me and I finally gave in and took her out.

That walk was the best part of my day. Our pound puppy is greatly interested in other animals. She just wants to be social and play with them all - and I mean all! While walking she tried to entice a cow to run up and down the fence line with her in the fields. The cow just looked like they normally do while chewing cud and never moved. She tried again with a yearling and got a better response. The horse followed for about 2 runs and then got bored because I had no food. We returned home after about a hour and I resumed my silent protest with my arse firmly planted on the couch, remote in one hand, soda can in the other.

I've been lucky, I really haven't had any kind of low point until now. I've been angry, frustrated, annoyed and proud (TP roll holders) but I hadn't hit low like, this not really. I hope to have a better week and drag my arse out of this funk, away from the blue man group.

Maybe I need to find a purple man group instead?

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