Disappointed

Went to see the RE today and we've scrapped this round of IVF. My hormones are low and the U/S shows only a few follicles. I'm bummed. We were even working the acupuncture too in an effort to have a better IVF this go round. The RE acted like he was trying to help by telling me that we didn't have to pay the fees and yes its great that we are only out a small amount of the IVF fees, but geeze that's not what I focusing on.  Yeah keeping about 9 grand is cool, but was not the first frickin' thing on my mind.

We were really hoping this would be it. I read a ton of stuff about this protocol (flare) since we tried a new one and I didn't read the best about it for low responders. I know it works as I know another woman that used it, but she's in her early 30s, not overweight and doesn't have the same work stress I do. But my gut was telling me that when I asked a few questions about switching things around to account for what I read and he basically said no, we weren't changing the protocol - that there might be an issue.

On a good note, I like my accupuncturist. It does make me feel less stressed which is nice. So hopefully she can help get my body back on track and have a positive IUI out of this.

I'm not sure we can face another around of IVF, even with this scrapped one. I'm hitting 41 soon which reduces our success rate of IVF. The RE has brought up a donor egg and I'm having to think about that - alot. I'm stuck on that although I'd carry it, it wouldn't totally be mine, not really. It might almost be easier to just adopt. I just haven't had enough time to think about these options though and want to concentrate on the IUI for now and see if our accupuncturist can't lend a hand. I just want a second baby, our family isn't complete yet, not to us anyways.

I hate this woman. I hate this woman. I hate this woman....oh sorry is this thing on? Crap!

Needles, needles and more needles

We decided to try IVF again.  We spent about 2 months "off" as my body needed to repair itself and be ready for a new round.  We went back to the RE and he's got me trying DHEA, Co Q 10 and recommend acupuncture.  We are also trying a different protocol - the Lupron flare.  Its for low responders aka chicks who dont produce a lot of eggs and helps to produce more.  So since its another drug, it means more shots.  Yes, yes I so love sticking myself over and over with needles (if you missed the sarcasism you must not know me very well).  Anyways, I stab myself 4-5 times each and every day for 10 days.  So 50 jabs is just such fun.  But really if it works then its worth it.

The other issue is more needles.  I had my first acupuncture appointment tonight.  Eastern medicine is different of course so you must have an open mind otherwise well it won't work.  It's a hard concept sometimes for me to even get but in general westerners just have a hard time.  I connected with my therapist I think and she loved talking about Chinese Medicine, so my natural habit of "whatca doing now?" worked out well. 

I had a little headache afterwards from apparently not listening and not eating right before the session (bad toad).  But overall I feel perky-er, relaxed, and with some extra energy.  I'm a little sore in my shoulders too but nothing eath shattering.   Apparently my liver system really out of balance.  Its going to take a bit to get it back in balance, but we are working against time.  We are supposed to do the retrieval next week, but we are going to work a short version of the long stuff and get me as releaxed and balanced as possible for the upcoming procedures.  I'm also having to change a few things - no more ice water (room temp), no cold stuff at all actually.  No more sweets, no dairy and bitter foods (aka leafy greens).  For the next few weeks I think I can handle that.  Stopping my can of Coke a day will suck but I'll survive.

I'll go over a session some time in the future.  It's weird, but cool but weird.  I could listen to her explain about Chinese medicine all night long.  Yes I'm a total nerd.