Observation

I am a person who prefers to sleep in the dark. The husband has always wandered the bedroom with a flashlight looking in drawers to find his clothes should he forget to pull them out the night before.

When Oz was born things really didn't change. I set his monitor to "on" versus voice activated at first. I wanted to hear him breath. I wanted to hear every hiccup, burp, fart and sneeze. And I woke for each and every one of those things too. I had Oz radar, I could hear a pin drop in his room while dead asleep.

After a while I got used to the idea that he really is okay and I could turn the monitor to voice activated only. This only put out a sound when he made a cry or a laugh, something that hit a certain noise level. But I also noticed something new. I could filter what noises would wake me and what noises I could care less about.

Now I don't hear the toilet flush, I don't hear the shower run, I don't hear the racket down stairs while the husband makes coffee, lunch etc. I don't notice the lights being turned on either. But Oz, farts and my eyes pop open in the darkness. I roll to the monitor and wait. Is this just a fart or does he need me? I never in a million years would have thought that I a person who requires 8 hours sleep daily could survive on less. I never thought I could sleep through storms, dropping coffee pots, clanking dishes but will wake and be down the hall before the first cry has even escaped fully from Oz's lips.

I've been told that, this baby radar will never go away. That forever I will hear, know and respond without a second thought to any noise my son will make. People are interesting creatures.