Enjoy the silence

Awkward. If I could only use one word to describe yesterday’s interaction with “the jerk who smashed my trust to smithereens” I would have to say awkward. Yesterday was my fist encounter working with him since the incident. I couldn’t look him in the eye. I think only once while taking directions did I ever make eye contact and it lasted but only briefly before I found his shoulder to look at instead. Looking at him directly, fleeting images cross my mind of the past events and it makes my stomach turn so it’s better to find the shoulder to focus on instead.

Overall it went better than I thought, at least for me it did. I just kept my distance, always keeping someone within my range of sight. According to my “escape buddy”, the jerk didn’t get near me either nor look at me much. I liked hearing that, maybe what I am putting out there (my vibe) and his own conscious has hit home that he was wrong, very very frickin’ wrong.

I am still adjusting to all this. I am trying to focus on my goals while I am still here and let this pass, too much talking or harping on the subject just gets me riled up and pissed off all over again. Every time I recant the story I end up reliving images in my head that make me shudder and cringe, I need to refocus on what’s important to me. I will not fail, I will meet my goals. For all those who stand in my way, “Póg mo thóin.”