Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Lady Liberty

I have been trying to suppress, no contain my thoughts on missing my husband throughout this deployment. Not because I think I need to be some kind of Lady Liberty standing stolidly as a beckon for my husband's return but because pining incessantly will eventually keep me from functioning.

While making my rounds reading this morning, I ran across a nice simple post from
Military Bride that best expresses what I have been thinking when it comes down to the separation of me and my spouse.
"The feeling of missing M is so common its presence is now just a part of my daily life - I have become numb throughout the deployment because I have had to...One emotion I have not become numb to is that of how much I love M. When you find a great love, nothing can make you forget how it makes you feel, and distance and time only add kindling to the flame."

I can completely sympathize with her when she speaks about missing being able to share events as they happen. That is probably the hardest thing for me, is that I share everything with my spouse. He is the first to know the best gossip, the hard day at work or the great news.
"...there is a year full of memories, of things that happened that I was not able to run right home and share with him, and it hurts, but if nothing else, it truly has shown me how unconditional our love for each other is."

We were friends (pen pals actually) before we became lovers and that bond makes it so easy for me to love him even over the miles. I have read or listened to stories of women who seem to not handle the stress and strain of deployment well. Some of them are separated only for a few months while their spouse is in boot camp and they fling the word divorce around like a pebble in a slingshot. Although I try to help them, I am quietly happy that our relationship is able to handle this trial in life; that we are able to maintain the strength for each other to lean on.

The thing that Erika said that struck me as the most profound, well inspiring was:
"I don ot love him because I need him; I need him because I love him."

I could not agree with this statement more.

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