Surviving

I've survived 2 days of the Chinese herbs. So I think I can stand it for a while then and see if they help too.

Chinese Herbs blow

Ugh! Wow, I don't know what happened, but I tried Chinese herbs from my acupuncturist today to help with baby making, balance hormones and reduce my endo symptoms. She said it smells bad and tastes worse. It smelled fine considering I didn't breath through my nose. I got the first third down, but apparently drank the second third too quickly afterwards and um up they came. The last third stuck. It doesn't really taste bad, weird after taste but really not too bad. Not sure why I didn't take the second gulp so well - maybe I caught too much air. I'll try it though, again tomorrow and hopefully it will go better the second go round.

Next stage by pushy me

The IUI after the scrapped IVF didn't work.  A month of just good old fashioned BD'ing didn't work either.  I'm tired of hearing how my eggs are old (insert eyeroll here). 

We are considering donor eggs and I am having a hard time thinking about it.  Not my DNA, how do we explain it to a kid when they go asking why I look nothing like them.  It's going to take more time before we agree to it or not.  So I can leave that on the back burner while I consider it more.

Adoption is also in consideration, but back to the current process.

I was told today by the RE that he really couldn't recommend another round of IVF and probably not IUI (although he'd say IUI over IVF).  He actually told me he would feel like he was cheating me and stealing from me.  So I'm thankful for that, at least he's honest.

So we discussed surgery again.  I know, I know, we've discussed it before, but really if the IVF rate is in such a sad state for me because I'm a low responder to meds....then surgery won't hurt.  Now I run a risk that removing the fibroids I know I have could injure the uterus and make it unable to carry a child to term, I'd be happy if they'd at least look in there.  My gut, my intuition, my hutzbuch is telling me that I'm not pregnant because of my endo and my fibroids - not due to old assed eggs.

So being the honest guy he is, he said to come see him next week, we will discuss surgery in detail and he will get me a referral to a doctor that specializes in removal of fibroids.  He actually said I won't do it, I'd make it worse not better.  LOL  My little Ben Stein sounding Dustin Hoffman looking RE has a good sense of humor.

I'm going to continue with the acupuncture too.  Worst case, I'm calmer, I'm happier and my overall health is improving.  It's also shown me that I don't take care of myself and I NEED to, pregnant or not.  So manybe with surgery, acupuncture and a possible IUI we will end up pregnant in the next six months.  If not, then we consider donor eggs or adoption.