Kentucky Fried Chicken

You know you are BIA when your only male reader (Aaron) emails to make sure you haven't fallen in a well. Thank you Aaron and I hope you and your new little family are doing well.

So what should come first the smart arsed comdey I have crammed in my head or the real life fun crap? Lets start with real life. Baby is fine, I spent about 5 hours in L&D last week when I stressed myself over some stuff, then went walking while crying and fought with the DH. I gave myself muscle spasasms and not preterm labor so we are good.

We finally found out where we are going and was given orders last week. Only 6 weeks before we PCS but hey isn't that nice of them? Our neighbors are going to the same place and already bought a house. They kindly lent us all their stuff from the area. So we have maps marked with housing subdivisions, floodplains etc. We also have an agent who is looking for stuff for us already and have a couple of lenders giving us good faith estimates.

As always the Army fucks with you just a little bit. After getting the list of what was available on Good Friday and he put in his top 4 within 20 minutes of us talking about it, it took three weeks for an answer. The branch manager was a total ass because my husband very pointedly told the guy in writing in his response that I am PREGNANT and due in August. So while assigning us he skips over Hood where he would have deployed after the baby was a year, skips Lee where he would have deployed again another year, skips Eustis and gives us Campbell. Not only did he ignore the places deploying a year later he puts him in a unit that is deploying within weeks of our arrival to the new duty station. With the 15 month deployments the husband would have missed the birth and the first year of the Oz's life.

Hello? Are you fucking riding the short bus to your cushy job in the Pentagon? After fighting for a while I asked the DH to kindly email 'tardo boy and not refute the assignment but ask for a different section of the unit so he could at least watch Oz come into this world. The guys in the current section were already calling him and giving him information as well as saying that it was okay the DH would be missing out on a very important training exercise with the unit. This alone was a major red flag because who wants the 2nd in command to have never worked with the unit and get stuck in the desert for 15 months together? The end of the story is that the short bus rider pulled his head out of his ass long enough to move the DH to the other section of the unit that is deploying in early 2008.

The CPAC called me on Thursday to tell me I was selected to work an Admin position for the last few weeks I am here. Its a temp position and would put a couple of grand into our pockets. Well actually it would pay off the credit card which would be great to have the free cash around once we have a house payment. The CPAC HR Spec also filled me in that there were openings coming up for Campbell in my field and to make sure everything was up to date. I figured after the hell I put her through with trying to illegally railroad me into a mortuary affairs position that she'd never lift a finger in an attempt to help me for anything. So hearing about the info was pretty cool and she even told me it was meant to be and God's will (yeah yeah we are in the bible belt). So keep your fingers crossed that I can get moved, have a baby, get a job and find decent child care in the next 4 months or so.

I finish my final for my last class today. I am procrastinating as usual but will get it done. It won't be hard she's forcing us to keep it to one page only. Talk about writing in 10pt font! Only sucky thing is that I will end up with a C in the damn class. I never participate in the weekly discussions, I find them annoying. This portion of the class was 10% of the grade. Well she never assigned the essay that was 15% of our grade and in the syllabus. She never made an announcement that the grading criteria was changing either. Instead she added the 15% to the weekly discussion which is now worth 25% of our grade. Guess who's getting an F for 25% of the class? Yeah me.

I can only have 2 C's in this grad program before getting kicked out and I've never had one yet. So either I complain to the dean about her changing the syllabus without notifying the students or I just bite the bullet. I'm done and can petition for graduation regardless so in the end of things does it really matter? Is it really worth the stress of calling the school, getting the department chair/dean's info, arguing my point and waiting to see what happens? Not really, at least not for me. I am not going to petition for graduation until probably spring of next year because I want to relocate, get settled and figure out how much time I will have in order to finish the additional 4 classes I need to also be granted my MBA.

And my next fun detail is the fact that I failed my first glucose test, but only barely. The cut off is 140 and I was a 147. This means I take the three hour test where they make me carbo load to stress the body out and then fast, take my blood for a base line, drink the sugary goo and then draw blood again once an hour for three hours. If I fail 2 out of four of the test limits then they will diagnose me with gestational diabetes. Of course the irony in all this was that I only asked about the test because that morning my friend told me she failed hers. What was even funnier was when they called to tell me I failed, I was eating McDonalds! So keep that in your thoughts too that I don't have it because I don't want to mess with Type II diabetes later in life.

Oh and my last tibit of fun was hearing about how I am a total bitch for having another friend throw my baby shower instead the first woman who offered. Lets call her K - she and I have butted heads over the 15 years or so we've been friends. In fact at one point we didn't talk to each other for 6 years maybe 8?? I was really flattered when she asked to host it. I figured it was a great gesture and that she was just as willing as I to put the past aside and move on to the new.

Unfortunately I started getting pressure from her. Because I wanted to extend the invitations to overseas friends who insisted on being invited (I didn't want to invite people who couldn't come and look like a present whore) she wanted a list of people in Feb. when the event was in May. Well crap I am old here and first I wanted to get through the first trimester. Then the pushiness got worse. I got a list of cute places in the area from another friend to go for brunch. I suggested one of those places and not to my face but to others K griped about not wanting to do it there like it was going to be difficult to call the place and ask questions. Honestly K's suggestion of Chevy's the Mexican restaurant didn't sound like fun but apparently she wanted to that because it was easier for her. Some other crap went on that I can't discuss, the pressure got more annoying as things on my end started to pile up. It got to the point where honestly I wasn't answering the phone because I didn't have an answer for K. The more I heard rumor wise that K was going to do what K wanted to do I just didn't feel like having it anymore.

So the straw that broke the camels back was when I emailed asking if K could include an insert to not ship any gifts past a certain date because we didn't know where we were going yet. I didn't want something to show up after we moved and the new tenants get our stuff. Well she evaded the question. I asked again and asked that if she can't answer this simple question then maybe K not doing the shower was a better idea. Honestly I'd rather K not do the shower and our friendship remain in tact. She said okay and some speech about how we never talked fully about things. What that has to do with just answering the fucking question of the insert with a 'yes' is beyond me.

I mean come on, I'm pregnant you can't just placate me and go to a restaurant with food that fits my stupid preggo pallet? You can't placate me and put in the instert since I'm used to military life and know that putting a hold off note on shipping the other military folks will do it? I couldn't even buy tickets to fly out there for the shower because we were told he was going to be pulled out of school early at first, then after that finished we had no idea where we were going and still could have been pulled a little early like May-ish. So we only confirmed LAST WEEK exactly where we would be going. Now that all is settled we need to find a house, get moved, find an OB and get registered with them and the doc. So needless to say pushing for lists, not responding to a simple request and telling others she planned to do what she wanted to regardless of my requests just isn't cool.

Well apparently out of protest to either me and K's issues or for some other issue (like the fact that this mutual friend is now hosting the shower) K missed a mutual friend's wedding. She didn't even RSVP, she just texted the day before the wedding saying she couldn't make it. K did not respond to my explaination that she was being pushy and selfish for not understanding that I might actually have a life, a stressful one at the moment that fighting with a friend over a stupid shower was the last thing I wanted to deal with.

Its all about drama, creating it and being in the middle of it and I am just too old for drama. I'd much rather go have a beer and hang, not jump into drama. But she did respond that she would not be attending my shower. Not to me of course just to the host. Not sure if she will attend the mutual friend's shower which is the day before mine. Its all drama so I don't really care to get my blood pressure up over it. So eh, no worries, the stress and the like can be on K's end I've got to many other things to take care of in my household than to deal with the drama.

So while we are saving the drama for your mama I hope you all have a great rest of your weekend. I promise to not to be too much of a BIA but we will be on the move here shortly and hopefully will not have the Oz man in a frickin' rest stop along the way to our new move!!

This is pathetic

It really is. So this afternoon the Hubby gets an email with the current assignments available and to pick your top 4 from that list only. Mind you there are only about 70 days until school is done and we are expected to PCS.

What's worse is that these fools didn't even have enough brains to give a response date. WTF? Come on if you aren't smart enough to say if we don't hear from you by three days from now we pick for you but they do put a remark on there that says it is not on a first come first serve basis.

The last seriously scary thought? They said an RFO won't be issued until the LAST WEEK OF APRIL! It will take another two weeks for regular orders to be cut. So we are looking at actually have orders in hand the second week of May and we PCS the second week of June. There goes actually trying to find a house that is any kind of custom.

I am seriously thinking about filing a congressional on this. I EXPECT him to be deployed without notice, but PCSing with 30 days notice makes it really hard to set up a house, its nuts.

Oh to loving the Army, some days I LOVE them so much I just want to PUKE.

Spiders are EVIL

Even if we still don't have orders, an RFO or even a clue as to our next duty station, I can still putter around and clean out what we haven't used in over a year or two. It happens every PCS which is great because we don't hold on to too much crap.

I am a clothes horse, meaning that I have way more than the hubby has and have probably kept a hold of more than I should have. So I started to go through the closets pulling out sizes I could only wear again with the help of a tape worm. If I had bought a second pair of the same shoes, I got rid of the ones in the worst shape and decided what clothes I could put in those vacuum bags and squish 'em ity bity so we could have closets again. This includes our letter jackets from high school and my old cheer leading uniform.

As I was pulling crap out of the closet that the hubby had killed two ginormous spiders from a couple of months ago, I went ahead and shook each outfit roughly to make sure there were no hitch hikers. Then I pulled out this royal blue, dress I got in Morocco. I remembered in Egypt I had stepped on the dress going up stairs and had pulled the stitches loose on the arm seam. Finding that I had already fixed it some time I looked down to see this great big gob of nasty spider webbing. One of those little crapper spiders left an egg sack on my dress. I nearly peed my pants, shuddering and saying "ewwww, ewwwie!" I ran down stairs with the dress and left it in the backyard on the table.

Freaking that there might be another spider sac or worse live spiders, I grabbed a pair of heavy socks, heavy soled shoes and put them on with my carpi pants. I looked like a total idiot in carpi pants and socks pulled up to my knees but I wasn't risking dealing with another nasty spider.

Just another reason why I can't wait to get orders and get the hell out of Toto-town!

Really, news worthy?

A bunch of photos of a funeral had ended up in the news recently of a man who had passed. His family wanted him to be seen in his favourite place - in front of the TV, with a beer, smokes etc. Sounds pretty nice, and a great way for a person you loved to be remembered. But would you really want to see the pictures? I'm not talking about a far away photo that shows the set up but I mean a foot or so away of the face?

Dead people and death photos maybe good for the family, but I'm sorry putting them in the news paper or on a message board (as entertainment) is just totally in-fucking-appropriate.

It's another one of those, I've been overruled so whatever...

15 British sailors seized by Iran

"An Iranian naval patrol seized 15 British marines and sailors who had boarded a vessel suspected of smuggling cars off the coast of Iraq, military officials said.

The British government immediately demanded the safe return of its troops and summoned Tehran's London ambassador to explain the incident.

Foreign Minister Margaret Beckett said she was "extremely disturbed" by the capture of the 15 personnel." FULL STORY

I hope and pray for the safe return of this Service Members and please, please, please let this resolve in a manner where the current Administration doesn't get the bright idea to invade Iran.

I really hope diplomatic process works.

Troll House Cookies

I have been spending most of my time on a mil spouse board that I have been a member for for two years now. I enjoy most of the ladies and gents on there and well have been feeling a little blog-lack-luster.

I serve as a mod but lately, I am really wondering what's the point? There are a few people who just seem to antagonize others on the board on purpose but the theme of the comments I get in return when I speak my mind is "shut up and colour." One member is particularly concerning for me. I think a troll is a foot. Not like a spy troll but a blogger troll, one who gives little information about themselves, but bashes and bashes Americans, gives up pro-jihadist websites as examples and basically their only purpose is to stir the pot. This is a support board, but how supportive are Anti-American sentiment? It makes me wonder why the member is there if the member hates Americans so much?

Anyways, so I am about to crawl back under my rock and let the furies fly. I have a bad feeling about it, my spidey sense is tingling that it will get much worse before it gets better...

But duck and cover does come to mind.

Wiskey Tango Foxtrot?

Ummm how fucking long as my blog been messed up? Thank you Blogger, really thanks. Now I must to and fix this crap.

Two pigs fightin' under a blanket

I was called last week for an interview on post, for a lower graded position than what I was but that would be okay. We have about 87 days left until we PCS, still no orders in hand of course. I am not sure what in the heck to do about that other than curse HRC for being total MORONS!

Anyways, I digress. I put on my suit today, my power suit and nearly fell down laughing. Because of the belly in front, the skirt made my arse totally stick out in the back. The whole thing reminded me of Steel Magnolias when Wheezer said "It looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket." This was in reference to an older woman dressed in a garish dress about two sizes too small. I had to run so I wasn't late for the interview and threw on a pair of black slacks and some extra high heels to make up for the fact that I needed to hem the pants.

As I arrived at the building I realized just how hot I was. It wasn't that warm out but I was sweating and feeling dizzy. Then I realized I left the frickin' pantyhose on underneath the pants. The interview went well, they were very friendly and seems like it would be a great place to work. Initially I only accepted the interview to not mess with my status since I wasn't sure if I was referred for something or if I was sent over as a special placement as a displaced spouse (PPP match). I ended up actually feeling irritated because I liked it and was interested in the job. I have a heart and told them straight forward that I would only be around 90-150 days from now. I couldn't screw a manager like that and get the job and then drop the news afterwards. The only thing I don't tell a hiring manager about is that I am pregnant and I won't be discriminated against so I don't talk about it.

Anyways if you have any desire send some prayers or karmic thoughts our way that HRC pulls their heads out of the arse and sends an RFO to my spouse soon. We are hoping to go to Hood or Eustis if you want to add that in too (just not the Hood unit that will go to Knox a year later).

Red carpet blues

If you are pregnant and you live in a small town with four prisons what do you wear to a military ball? Apparently according to most department stores you aren't even supposed to go out, at all and definitely not in a formal dress. I waited to the week of the ball to get a dress. I figured I'd know how big I was and if I needed to go maternity or if I could go regular dresses just a size bigger.

I started at Kohl's based on my friend's recommendation. That was a bust as they had two measly racks of maternity wear and no formal wear. I then went to JCPenny's. This rinky dinky place didn't even have formal wear except for the hoochie crap teenagers wear to prom. My big ol' butt, boobs and Buddha belly weren't even going to look remotely attractive if I tried it. The Dillards was closed down and then I stopped at Macy's. Macy's doesn't even carry maternity wear one snotty saleswoman said. A second lady who I found out later had 4 brothers that served in the military over various periods of time pulled several empire waisted dresses for me a size larger than what I wore. I went into the dressing room and laughed a few of them, mainly because I would have given Charro a run for her money in the boobie department.

I finally picked a dress, simple, empire waist, black, not too shiny. Of course since its a size larger than what I normally wear, I had to alter the crap out of the top. I cut off 1 1/2 inches off off each side of the straps so that when I bent over the people across from me at the table wouldn't get the Playboy view.

Now I know Motherhood and a few other maternity stores had online shopping but um, I'd prefer to try dresses like this on and not just order four dresses, try them on at home and then return what ever ones didn't fit. But outside of maternity stores apparently pregnant women who aren't Catherine Zeta Jones (who can afford to have Vera Wang make her a dress) are not supposed to wear formal wear and should stay home.

I'm pregnant people, not an invalid.

Oh boy, oh boy!

Today was the first U/S that the hubby got to attend. I made the dumb mistake of following directions and drank all 40 oz of my water. The destructions said to start one hour before your appointment and sadly I followed this too. (You see where this is going right?)

So we arrive at 12:20 and our appointment is at 12:30. As we wait, the urge to go is getting worse and worse. I have unbuttoned the top of my pants and have started pacing the room to kill the urge. At 12:40 we are still waiting. I lean over to the hubby and tell him that I am going to go and will be right back. "Don't go too much!" he says as I wander out of the office into the hall. I was good and didn't go more than just relieve the instant pressure.

It's now 12:50 and I am back to pacing, dancing the pee-pee dance and whimpering to the hubby. He sees a front staff member and says, "Um are we almost ready to go, otherwise we are going to have a mess here." They let me go again for a little bit in their bathroom. Finally at about 12:55 the U/S Tech comes to get me. We go through the primary exam and she keeps commenting about how full my bladder is, finally after about 15 minutes of poking my full tummy I tartly say that this is starting to get really uncomfortable. I get to go pee and I promise you it was for at least a minute!

The hubby had a great time; he got to see the face, the head, the spine, the ribs, the feet, arms etc. He watched the baby squirm, roll over and make faces at us for being poked so much. We then get our first look between the legs and there's an outtie there. Strangely I was crestfallen. I tried to hide that but the hubby saw right away and asked how often mistakes are made. As the test goes on and she's measuring bones, head diameter etc, the little booger arches his back and we get a full frontal view of just what the boy's got. My husband whispers in my ear, "Holy crap the kid is channeling Ron Jeremy!"

Finally the exam is over, I get to go pee again and we were seen by the OB. I was so tired and cranky that I kept my unrealized disappointment to myself. I thought maybe I needed to nap to be excited. I ate my Sonic and passed out on the couch. A few hours later I woke only to feel okay. I was really ashamed of myself for feeling so unhappy that it wasn't a girl. I said out loud to everybody that I didn't care what it was as long as the baby was healthy. Well apparently I lied even to myself. I am finally excited that we are having a boy and all the cool things a boy will bring our life!

I still feel a little guilty about my reaction to the news and wonder why I was so ambivalent about what the gender was until it wasn't apparently what I subconsciously wanted. Hopefully I didn't scar the bean for life with my strange thoughts.